What does it take to have a happy relationship?
Here are tips from some of Pakistan’s most famous couples
Juggan Kazim, actor/model
Some people think that the most important thing in making a relationship work is love or mutual understanding. I would say the most important thing is respect. If you don’t respect each other, it’s not possible to have a long-term relationship. If there is one thing I could keep in my relationship with my husband, or son, or mother, it would be respect. If I had all the money in the world and didn’t have respect, I’d rather have none of it.
“To all GT readers, we wish you all a happy Valentine’s Day in 2014.”
Aamina Sheikh, actor
Let’s dance some more, shall we? Love. Communication. Trust. Understanding. Compatibility: words beaten to death when asked about a relationship. These are generic terms more easily used than applied; whoever states them is probably just trying to get done with the interview. We’re not ‘perfect.’ What is this term anyway? If anything, we’re beyond perfection. One can’t have a word that limits the potential of a human being. In fact isn’t it the imperfections and uncertainties in our world that are most promising? This companionship has the most dynamic range. It’s like chewing gum. We stretch it. Chew it. Savor it. Get irritated by it. Blow bubbles with it. Pop it. Crave for it. Squirm at its redundancy. Wonder at its longevity. Giggle at its idiocy. It’s all of this and more. There are moments together when you feel there can be no one closer, then there are events that make you feel no one can be furthest. Dance the dance of silence, of resistance, of distance; dance the dance of acceptance, of letting go, of forgiveness, the dance of melancholy, the dance of unlearning, the dance of re-learning, the dance of harmony, of ecstasy, of hope, of love. This is who and what we are – two souls partnered for the dance of life – while we watch each other we step in sync when the rhythm of life commands. May this dance continue till the eternal show and beyond. Amen.
Khadijah Shah, designer
A healthy relationship is one in which you can be who you are, follow your dreams and do the things you love!
Wasim and Naila Akhtar, politician and homemaker
Don’t ever stop dating your husband and don’t ever stop flirting with your wife. Also understand clearly that you are both on the same side. Everyday then will be Valentine’s Day.
Shahroz Sabzwari, actor
My advice would be to give the right amount of space to each other. Loyalty and everything else is secondary. The first thing is to respect each others space and that means you respect everything about your other half.
Tehmina Durrani, writer and wife of Chief Minister of Punjab
You must love a person in the way they need to be loved, instead of loving the way you want to love. Only then will you touch his heart and soul. Soon he will reciprocate. The key is patience and generosity.
Anwar Maqsood, writer
The most important thing for a healthy relationship is trust. If one speaks the truth, one is not afraid of anyone. You have to be honest in every relationship, whether it is between a mother and a son, a brother and a sister, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Valentine’s Day is a recent phenomenon in our culture, but not the tradition of giving a rose to someone. There is a verse by Ghazala Aleem about being given a rose that leaves one pricked with thorns. Roses always have thorns, except the ones we exchange on Valentine’s Day. They are without thorns and wrapped in plastic. Plastic is the worst thing for a flower. Moreover, all of Faiz’s poetry, all of Faraz’s poetry and all of Iqbal’s poetry tells us that every day is Valentine’s Day. All 365 days of the year should be spent loving each other. And then there would be no terrorists and no children without education. Love these children, so that they can become educated. Love them by giving them a bag of books. Love them by lightening their burden so that they may continue to educate themselves. That is to me what Valentine’s Day stands for.
Sharmila Farooqi, politician
Respect and space are the most important. In other words, stay away when in a bad mood!
Meesha Shafi, actor/singer
For any healthy relationship, respect and space are pivotal. But to maintain loving, dynamic, communication and appreciation are key. Being compassionate and trying to understand each other’s point of view, making time for one another and adapting as life takes its own course, these are the things that help couples grow together.