Buckle up folks! Itâ€™s winter in Pakistan and that means youâ€™ll all soon be drowning in wedding invitations (if you arenâ€™t already). Although weddings now take place throughout the year, the winter season still maintains a firm grip on festivities. The cooler temperatures allow us all to be decked out in our finest, without having to worry about sweating to death while we wait for the tedium of an event to be over. I for one quite enjoy winter weddings, as they give me the chance to don some of the most beautiful shawls that Iâ€™ve appropriated from my dear grandmother. But how many of us can honestly say that we enjoy these elaborate affairs?
Attending weddings has become a chore, one that many continue to crib about as they sit in a corner eating a piece of naan, waiting to go home. Obviously, when itâ€™s the ceremony of a close friend or family member itâ€™s a wholly different feeling. Depending on how close you are to the bride or groom you want to make their special day (days I should say) near-perfect for them; but when itâ€™s just an acquaintance, the long-winded affairs can become quite monotonous. With events getting grander and bigger in scale every year, Iâ€™ve compiled a list of wedding â€œdonâ€™tsâ€ that can helpÂ hosts organise a more palatable event for the several hundred guests theyâ€™ll be inviting.
Letâ€™s face it, most of you have private accounts and having a trending hashtag wedding is just not possible, unless youâ€™re a major influencer or person of note (or if you have a bunch of blogger friends). But forcing your friends to constantly use a hashtag that at best sounds like a bad coupon code is not cool anymore. If youâ€™re using the hashtag to scroll through social media to see what other people posted about your wedding, then why bother hiring professional photographers whoâ€™re going to document every.single.thing. Do away with the hashtag â€” period.
- Lower the OTT factor
Personally I believe weddings are supposed to be an intimate affair where all those in attendance can feel included and enjoy being there for the bride and groom (or the aunt who invited them because it would have been a social faux pas not to). The sheer scale of weddings, where walking from the dance floor to the food area is a chore in itself, should be done away with for good. Talk to your event planner and come up with something cosy. Also, letâ€™s definitely do away with the theatrics â€” you certainly do not need to enter inside a cake or create a fake river on which you and your hubby will glide in on a fake boat!
- Wedding Invite (Yes),
Talking about over-the-top weddings, please bear in mind that youâ€™re not the only ones getting married. While you should definitely enjoy your special week, thereâ€™s no need to force half the city to be there with you at every turn. Your friends and loved ones will obviously show up to the 12-day extravaganza youâ€™ve curated for them, but face facts, they wonâ€™t be happy about it. Combine events wherever you can, especially when the purpose of several events overlaps. Inconveniencing your guests by making them run around trying to find twelve different outfits theyâ€™ve not worn before is not nice at all.
- Dictatorial DPs
Dance practices are an essential part of any wedding, no doubt about that. But theyâ€™re a chance for you to have fun with your loved ones, not to boss people around in the hopes of winning a â€œcompetition.â€ Also, if it is a competition, what are you winning? Oops, did I just give another bad idea?
Many brides and grooms turn into absolute crazed individuals, yelling at the top of their voices, frantically messaging in WhatsApp groups, marking attendance and forcing people into the most contrived dances ever. Almost everyone who shows up to a dance practice is there because they want to have fun. Donâ€™t take that away from them and make them resent you.
- Sponsored Wardrobes
This one is mostly for my colleagues in the media industry. A lot of us have access to designer wear that we can borrow for attending weddings â€” and thereâ€™s nothing wrong with that. However, donâ€™t be disingenuous and pretend you own all the heirloom pieces that were created in Pakistan. Let your followers know that youâ€™re showcasing a designerâ€™s outfit; many laypeople around me assume that designer wear is the only way to go for weddings and many of your followers probably feel inadequate that they canâ€™t wear such inaccessible outfits to every occasion. Honesty is most definitely the best policy.
These are just some of the thoughts that come to me as soon as the first wedding invitation is dropped off. Iâ€™m not against you having fun and celebrating your big day with as much dhoom-dhaam as you want, but please remember to include others as well. Donâ€™t make your big day a burden on others. If you have any further suggestions, please drop me a line on my Twitter or DM us on our Instagram.
Some stray observations:
lÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Dowry is still a big no-no
lÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Limited prepared dances please, we all want to dance as well
lÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Epilepsy inducing lights on the dance floor should be banned
lÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Thank all your friends for participating
lÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Remember to have fun yourself!